A Teacher’s Job Description
Let me see if I’ve got this right. You want me to go
into that room with all those kids and fill their
every waking moment with a love for learning.
Not only that, I’m supposed to instill a sense of
pride in their ethnicity, behaviorally modify
disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse
and T-shirt messages.
I am to fight the war on drugs and sexually
transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for guns
and raise their self-esteem.
I’m to teach them patriotism, good citizenship,
sportsmanship and fair play, how and where
to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook and
how to apply for a job.
I am to check their heads occasionally for lice,
maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of
potential antisocial behavior, offer advice, write
letters of recommendation for student employment and
scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural
diversity of others, and, oh yeah, always make sure
that I give the girls in my class 50 percent of my
attention.
I’m required by my contract to be working on my own
time summer and evenings at my own expense toward
advance certification and a master’s degree; and
after school, I am to attend committee and faculty
meetings and participate in staff development training
to maintain my employment status.
I am to be a paragon of virtue larger than life, such
that my very presence will awe my students into being
obedient and respectful of authority. I am to pledge
allegiance to supporting family values, a return to
the basics, and to my current administration. I am to
incorporate technology into the learning, and monitor
all Web sites while providing a personal relationship
with each student.
I am to decide who might be potentially dangerous
and/or liable to commit crimes in school or who is
possibly being abused, and I can be sent to jail for
not mentioning these suspicions.
I am to make sure all students pass the state and
federally mandated testing and all classes, whether
or not they attend school on a regular basis or
complete any of the work assigned.
Plus, I am expected to make sure that all of the
students with handicaps are guaranteed a free and
equal education, regardless of their mental or
physical handicap.
I am to communicate frequently with each student’s
parent by letter, phone, newsletter and grade card.
I’m to do all of this with just a piece of
chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board,
a 45 minute more-or-less plan time and a big smile,
all on a starting salary that qualifies my family for
food stamps in many states.
Is that all?
—And you want me to do all of this and expect me NOT
TO PRAY?